A waste of motorcycle parts

I'm actually glad that Jesse James taught Sandra Bullock that she's not worth his effort. Because anytime a celebrostyled human holds out for REAL love (which doesn't exist), marriages of four years can be reduced to pinkie swears instead of legally-binding contracts.

And tattooed foreheads will forever be considered "courageous" instead of plain old moronic. As if that would ever happen. It's too bad Jesse didn't just introduce Sandy to his missionary at the get-go...never know, could've actually learned to PRODUCE scripturally-based dramas.

Brings the 4,000+ children to mind who die (through the grace of God himself) everyday, due to water-borne illnesses. Way more thrifty an expenditure than all those houses scattered around the world, staying connected to OTHER houses.

That aren't any REAL-er than rainbow parades.

Asha, um who?

It would be very sad if I forgot to pick my kids up from school, just hope everybody realizes this. And, if I never forgive Dana "Tea Party" Loesche...who probably has Google Alert on every possible misspelling of her last name, of which there are many...then I'm a better person for it.

Having conversations with all the fake moms on the planet takes time away from living, you know. And, we all know which I prefer...don't we? Very expensive hotels, very very expensive. Yes, Minneapolis is full of 'em. Stay there all the time...with my FAMILY!

Stay focused, it's me who's currently dizzy, none of the rest of you. Was I talking about Maria here, I cannot recall. I know I once talked about Maria non-stop, due to her commitment to crafting a functional website that's as advanced as blogspot could ever wish to be.

Plus, I was there when she went into labor (remember the pressure points?) Whole entire reason I was able to blog so soon after Cooper was born. Maria's swift recovery was my inspiration. And, her video commenting option.

Ivanka, not Ivana

I won't use last names here, try to connect the dots. Boy, oh boy, was Jimmy's show a bevy of doozies last night! And yes, that includes Kiefer which is another name I should've chosen for a child, but didn't. Maybe someday.

Ivanka, Ivanka, Ivanka...is how this post wants to begin, yet, I keep getting the feeling I should go with "classy" instead of just plain honest. Well, you know me, I always do what's easiest. Balls always roll my way, doesn't matter if I'm on the plantation or in the ghetto, game is game.

Jimmy has no game. Ivanka, well, she's trying, but like most insulated preppies (that includes Jimbo), they have no reality in their genres, no reality at all. Just vistas from mountaintops called Olympus, views are beautiful. Or so I hear.

They always are in the eyes of insulated beholders, whose balls are delivered to them in helicopters, they just close their eyes for a second, or use a blindfold, and POOF. We all say, that ball just rolled up the mountain to you, can you believe it? They always do.

That's what's so reliable about the insulati, which is what I'm going to call everybody except Pete Wentz from now on. Jury's still out on Ashley, who seems unable to get over being bitchy to everyone. As if hormones are to blame, instead of plain ol' arrogance. She's insulati too, sorry Pete, but you already knew.

Ivanka's getting in touch with her feminine side, still doesn't explain her improper use of cleavage. Which was magnificent by the way, don't you agree Jimmy? Only, that's not power, girls of your caliber don't need to use sway. Unless they're insecure on the inside.

Oh, to get the Kardashians and Ivanka to the ghetto and plantations where we live. Might actually pay attention to the negra (just invented that beauty, and yes, I love it!!!) whose urban city had the highest death rate for children this year. And don't get me started on bullies.

The woman, or negra I should call her from now on...wa-a-a-y more interesting than Ivanka and mean Ashley. The plea in her eyes was like all, "I'm going to try to say this one more time, knowing full well I'm just the black girl, and no one listens."

Paraphrasing now, to save time, and strained eyeballs on mini iPhones. Our children are getting killed while divas explore their femininity on construction sites, can anyone help? Okay, thank you for your pretentious time.

Me and my comments

I have many years of experience leaving comments on people's sites. I've no discrimination, be it a mommyblog, or Motherlode, c'mon don't deny it...it's nice having our voices heard.

Whether I'm picking on Earl Pomerantz for being Jewish
(c'mon he gets a chuckle too),

or trying to keep my band of girls tight, and part of the Momvo,

...it's an art, despite what others tell you, standing out from your fellow herd.

Secret number one, aim for "first comment", but how...? Why, allow updates to rise to the top on your sidebar. And don't waste its prime position with web faux pas numero uno...but if you simply can't help it, throw in a curse word for good measure.

Secret dos, comment in Spanish, with a link to an online diccionario. Lest the rest of the online world dominators forget that intelligent people also speak Spanish.

Y tres, leave a link to your blog. Yes, I know it's obnoxious. But from now on I'm gonna scan through those blogs with 350 comments, and I'm only gonna click on the ones who brag up their blogs, like it's normal.

Cuatro, make friends. Yes, all you ladies to my right, you know who you are...amigas forever, I'm just that kind of girl. Make it easy on all of us, those who've yet to find their order (as in the Sisterhood of the Momversacion)... come join ours.

We accept all ranks, lifestyles, and reformers.

That said, thank you from the very bottom of my heart, Lisa Belkin. Your wonderful writing's sent nearly a thousand odd people to my doorstep. Some may stay friends!

And all I had to do was write a simple comment. Now, who's first?

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What topic would you like to see Lisa Belkin cover in the highly-visible NY Times Motherlode blog.

Or, if you like bonding with others, come on over to the Momversation, you're guaranteed to fit in.

Helluva good technology!

Before I scoot my kids off to tennis, and grab a venti mocha decaf (hey, I deserve it)...I thought I'd share one of my findings.

Well, it was actually CHIEF MARKETING STRATEGIST who did the legwork, but MY THANKS all go to Google Alert media.

I'd entered "seeking moms, blog" in some rectangular box (looking for opportunities to host crafts, and throw contests).

Blonde Duck says sharing is caring, so here ya go:
http://chiefmarketer.com/demographics/0121-social-media-moms/

No, not the google alert link (I've no clue how to do that). You'll have to seek that out yourselves.

Oh, and THANKS MOMVERSATIONS, for giving us somewhere to mobilize ;-) when we're not playin' Scrabble, or just lazin' aboot.

Eye of the beholder

The older I get, the less conservative I become.

I've never found the Bratz collection to be offensive, but edgy.

Sure, it took some getting used to (clothes won't fit on Barbie?)

And snap-off shoes, I'm just confused, "we think it's cool, Mom."

Okay, me too then.



Of course, I'm homeschooling fashion designer daughters.

And from that point of view, it's risky choices that draw followers.

The belt buckle incident, well it's parents that guide their children's behaviors, I'm among the few, we non-objectors.

Society has SOME responsibility I suppose, to parade proper values that we'd never rebel at.

We'd just cheer them on, right? Yes, that's community spirit!



I don't blame it on the toy makers (we all need hobbies) for their wrong-bred inspirations.

It's those devils on the catwalk I take issue with, instead.

Me no wear no slings

That's Dylan talk for...why do I need a sling, my hips rotate just fine. Perhaps it's my rebel spirit, and my tendency to be cautious of the bandwagons I hitch a ride on. But no matter how many fabulous fabrics your slings come in, or how dire your need to make income on etsy, I laugh as you gals try to wrangle those contraptions on.

Yes, I've heard all the pro-snuggling arguments in existence, and I'm not withholding hugs or bedtime stories, in case that's what you're assuming. No, I simply feel I'm strengthening my core and restoring some semblance of balance when I secure my babies to my hip, old-fashioned.

Some days left, other days right, it doesn't really matter. But as I reach with an arm-and-a-half, 'cause that's what I'm left with, I still manage to run a large household and get all my work done. Well, at least the stuff I'm not subconsciously avoiding.

Leaving me only to wonder, "What does Daphne think?"

Hannah and Lauren are friends

...even though Hannah said fairies weren't real.

Abode Design

My friends Jay and Jason have a design business. They are geniuses at creating balance out of the eclectic.



Clientelle has been building over the past couple years, and though Jason's best dream would be to have his own show,

for now, his art is featured on

the front page of
the At Home section of
our local newspaper.

Screech...halt

I was reluctant to say goodbye to summer, but it seems the ol' school-minded folks have hijacked this month as their own. When the kids' day camp ended in July I had planned to savor August, sitting out on the front steps watching chalk drawing, hula hooping, bikes and scooters whipping past. I've been indulging in a little computer time, thinking the last three weeks we'll play hard with no schedules or constraints, holding tight to the season as it comes to completion.

The art teacher came calling first, interrupting my bliss with permission slips and parental agreements to sign--a woman who firmly believes "school should not happen until after Labor Day".

Then, the homeschool activity fair was planted on the 4th of August. On one hand I'm excited to see which activities will be shaping our coming days, but I was quite enjoying a respite from the familiar faces and petty dramas of the homeschool set. I actually dreamed last night that one very Charlotte-Masony, Latin and Greek teaching Mom was criticizing me because my kids didn't behave in the instant I reprimanded them.

This is likely leftover psychic shrapnel from an issue going on here...(the second half of this post has been erased, someone out there must have all my original copy.)