My Lush Rainy Corner

There's no loss

I don't like to be one of those complaining homeschooling moms, who breaks her stoic expression in a fit of reality crashing down, but from time to time I have to admit to myself that homeschooling is really hard. It's a marathon of hard, with many effortless sprints, but the grit-your-teeth truth of it, is it's a lifestyle that must be given full attention. Or else.

Justifications abound for why I stay on this difficult track, one glance at who my kids would be in the system, as opposed to their clean spirits safely outside of it, worth all the hard. I don't like who I'd be if I were traditionally obedient to the norms of society, blindly consuming "it's good for you" but knowing better. What I'm doing is better, but that doesn't mean it's not hard.

All I can depend on to keep things smooth flowing, is a clarified vision of what I'm attempting, confirmed by my hopes of what is possible. In between we do math. It's like, without my lifeline to spirit, without an easy-going life that allows me to follow where I'm led, education-wise, like into science books, and more math. Without that straight shot from "here I am" to "here we are going", the lifestyle gets fragmented, and so do I.

Fragmented homeschooling moms are the worst kind. Having spent the first three years deciding how I'll homeschool, primarily guarding myself from the pitfalls of "you'll fail", I know these things. I know what it takes to stay on course, despite how tempting it can be to give in...to just throw your kids into someone else's good enough hands, but not your own.

Not worth it. Not who I am, or will ever be.

Gotta get my ass in gear

You know, my donkey, his backpack packed....we're headin to the desert. Doesn't everyone in Egypt have a donkey to get in gear when the sun's this great today and you spent all morning enjoying raspberries and blueberries mixed in vanilla yogurt? Yum!!

I could spend my whole life enjoying delicious foods straight from nature, prepared right. Yum, yum!!! And this morning, I switched officially to tea from morning coffee. Yes, officially, I had a little ceremony and everything. Idiots!

I like Green and White tea from Target, with a stick of Nespresso sugar to sweeten, poured right before whistling into a travel Eddie Bauer mug. Well, one of those tall insulated thingees, yes one of those. So yesterday I officially switched over, did I say today? Because I meant yesterday (LOVE time travel!)

But now, I have like, 3 and a half baskets of laundry to put away, been putting it off AND just avoiding it. I hate putting away 3 and a half baskets of laundry. Glad I'm not the Duggars!

Have a great day.

I'm a frumpy mom

I realized today when I was at TJ Maxx, as I glanced around at the capris and perfectly matched blouses, that not only am I frumpy, I make frumpy look cool. Seriously, it's possible. You see, over-sized Ralph Lauren polos with Levis is frumpy enough to BE frumpy, paired with the I have better things to do with my time than spend hours deciding.

Yes, there was TONS of deciding going on that pretty much bored me to tears. I couldn't cry though, because I was too busy marveling at the energy that goes into choosing "make me feel better about myself" outfits, accompanied by the "look what she's wearing" sideglances that make all that effort possible. Spare me the drama!

Then, after being treated like a princess all day, because somebody absolutely loves me, we went to the park to pick up the kids. There too, I made frumpy look cool, actually I wasn't working the frumpy so much as, "cool and confident mom with no need for validation". I have many angles, some have yet to be invented.

Eventually, as the summer wears on, I'll stop strutting my strut and return to plain normal. But just for today, as I thank God that my brood is expanding (yes, that's exactly what I'm meaning)... securely tied down for the next, oh, two-and-a-half years.

Making fun of shopping will be replaced by "why doesn't anything fit me", but I'll still find plenty to be appalled at, like hopelessly insignificant dependencies on Korean pedicures.

My new beginning

I own this blog, and if I feel the need to save all my previous posts to draft files, I will. I'm the kind of girl who depends on new beginnings, it's just something you learn when your choices boil down to a backpack filled with regret, or a new beginning.

It's more refreshing, and the proper use of technology if I do say so myself, to remove all that clutter from your mind's eye and start over. The process will be repeated time and again, so don't be surprised.

You'll notice, if you actually read this blog, and not just boring Google Reader (no amazing colors) that I left off in February when our lives were changed by diabetes. It's been four months and we've adjusted quite well thank you, no complaints. So, I zapped that blog along with the rest of 'em...deleted into once upon a time blogpost heaven.

I'm open. Not sure exactly which direction I'll take, I'm half-tempted just to talk about education and boring books. But then, knowing myself and my embarassment with being ignorant, there's not much else to say on that except I'm reading a cookbook called Ratios and a history book on the Inquisition.

My thoughts are basically...wish I had the Ratio book like ten years ago, when it was exactly what I needed to feed my family with confidence. All experimental back then, just looking for a method. And the Inquisition, sadly I'd forgotten that it happened. Glad the library reminded me why I get so offended by people trying to control my religion, and thinking.

So, that's me. This is my new beginning, all tuned.

From Meandering to Marveling

That was a short drive, and we'll get the ice cream later. This nausea, not my best friend, and to think I was sure it was birthed by conflict. Believed that for a few uncertain weeks. Nope, conflict can still exist and be less nauseating than enlightening. I'm sitting in it, and truly, I don't mind it a bit.

It's blowing my mind, and can't say with certainty I know where I'm heading. But definitely not backwards, that's the only thing that's impossible at this point. I like waking up, it's like wow, I didn't know I could have those feelings. Nothing crazy or out of the ordinary, just a clearer view of my whole life, and all the things I'd been seeing wrongly.

It's a relief to have made that mistake all my life, only because the realization that I can fix it gives me even more to focus on that's important. I wish I had someone to share all my insights. Just random things like, yeah, I can stare Ethiopia's starving children in the face, and think bigger.

It would break my heart of course, I'm not afraid of that either. G'head, break my heart I dare you. It's easier to see anyway, and for that I must thank you.

Ivanka, not Ivana

I won't use last names here, try to connect the dots. Boy, oh boy, was Jimmy's show a bevy of doozies last night! And yes, that includes Kiefer which is another name I should've chosen for a child, but didn't. Maybe someday.

Ivanka, Ivanka, Ivanka...is how this post wants to begin, yet, I keep getting the feeling I should go with "classy" instead of just plain honest. Well, you know me, I always do what's easiest. Balls always roll my way, doesn't matter if I'm on the plantation or in the ghetto, game is game.

Jimmy has no game. Ivanka, well, she's trying, but like most insulated preppies (that includes Jimbo), they have no reality in their genres, no reality at all. Just vistas from mountaintops called Olympus, views are beautiful. Or so I hear.

They always are in the eyes of insulated beholders, whose balls are delivered to them in helicopters, they just close their eyes for a second, or use a blindfold, and POOF. We all say, that ball just rolled up the mountain to you, can you believe it? They always do.

That's what's so reliable about the insulati, which is what I'm going to call everybody except Pete Wentz from now on. Jury's still out on Ashley, who seems unable to get over being bitchy to everyone. As if hormones are to blame, instead of plain ol' arrogance. She's insulati too, sorry Pete, but you already knew.

Ivanka's getting in touch with her feminine side, still doesn't explain her improper use of cleavage. Which was magnificent by the way, don't you agree Jimmy? Only, that's not power, girls of your caliber don't need to use sway. Unless they're insecure on the inside.

Oh, to get the Kardashians and Ivanka to the ghetto and plantations where we live. Might actually pay attention to the negra (just invented that beauty, and yes, I love it!!!) whose urban city had the highest death rate for children this year. And don't get me started on bullies.

The woman, or negra I should call her from now on...wa-a-a-y more interesting than Ivanka and mean Ashley. The plea in her eyes was like all, "I'm going to try to say this one more time, knowing full well I'm just the black girl, and no one listens."

Paraphrasing now, to save time, and strained eyeballs on mini iPhones. Our children are getting killed while divas explore their femininity on construction sites, can anyone help? Okay, thank you for your pretentious time.

A Collective Theory

Having proven civilization to be stable, progress to be optional, and the upcoming weekend a sure thing...I'm investing my labors in post-Memorial Day dreams of survival. The veterans all died in thankless wars that will only be repeated week after week, and thereafter, the least I can do is not kill myself. Won't my children be pleased.

I can't say for sure what post-Memorial Day will hold for us all, I'd guess more of the same, as is typical. Just hope enthusiasm doesn't fade, and then wane, for the battle seemed so worth it, but the finale was so subtle. The holidays confuse.

And now, life is just Labor Day and that time in between, so be thankful.

Th Fri Sa Su

I'm not even going to give Monday a thought, that's Memorial Day which is an important holiday for some powerful country, can't recall which. It's Thursday, I'll muster the effort to go to the park, although it's chilly out. Which friend will I call? I think Lori.

Then, off to the luxurious lake cabin life. Hopefully by then it will have warmed up, and not be too cold to sit on the deck in lawn chairs, reading and enjoying the sounds of nature. I should probably check the weather channel, or a website with the same information, but I'll wing it instead.

Winging it provides the best results when you're me, so I'll just wing it all the way through the weekend until Monday. Of course, camp starts soon after that, and I have the library programs to sign up for. And all day yesterday I spent studying Science Roots, that venture's going to be productive for me, I do love studying, I do.

So, that's my weekend, I'm sure I'll enjoy it. Once it decides to begin.

It's all Flickr's fault

Part I

Some rules had to be made, there was simply no denying it.



My girl was feeling better, yo!



Except for her troubling diet (still workin' on it!)



15 gram carb snacks, are all we need (hey look, we're tryin' it!)

Thanks to Target (everything on sale!)

feeds all 5 of them (I'll keep on buyin' it).

Part II

We burned up all our steam.


And then headed for new views.


Taylor did okay, but spent some time alone.

Those are good friends, Lori and Jules.


We survived all the fun, and even had some more.


But something just felt wrong. We can't love candy anymore.

Part III

I finished the Valentine's party invites, before we left for the cabin.


Yes, it's in the woods, but not on a lake
(otherwise, taxes'd be outrageous!)


There's my husband's shop, in which he should be building.
He's talented like that.

All Diabetes, All the Time

Not the best move for blog stats, unless you want a buncha diabetics hanging around. Or worse, recipe thieving new mothers searching frantically for that elusive, yet possible meal plan. Truth is, I haven't much choice in the matter.

Either I redirect my energies fully into the reality that's now come upon us, or I pretend it's no bother. Healthy eating and being cool with diabetes takes time.

No, no, no...plenty of energy left to keep dominating the Momversation, worry ye not. And my friends on the sidebar, always and forever will be. Now those of you who haven't left comments of sympathy, too busy eating sugar and enjoying the high life, who needs ya.

Kidding, losers! I'm too busy becoming a nutritionist and chef to let poor upbringings bother me.

I'm blessed

Thank you so much guys! That's kind of the neat thing about this "disability", we have so much yet to strive for. With a quick pace, we must master nutrition (especially carbohydrates) and then of course I'll become a better chef, mathematician, and grocery shopper.

It's strange feeling so many positive things from what should be considered a negative challenge. I've heard good things about the pump, from so many people. It's such a relief to hear from people who know people who have type 1 diabetes.

Any fun advice on celebrating Valentine's day?